what is it, jess?

Water Park and a Birfday or Two

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Last Saturday we slept in until one. In the afternoon. We didn't even end up going to bed that late, but that meant our plan to visit a mystery house was off, because in four hours we had to take our roommate, Joe to the movies. The tour there is two hours and it's about a ten minute drive away, so we ended up sitting around for the four hours until we left. In his Tesla. Which is pretty awesome.

We went to see the new Planet of the Apes movie, which I didn't even really want to see, but I liked it more than I expected to. It was pretty engaging, and I think I'd recommend it for a time killer. Speaking of which, I definitely do not want to go see the Ninja Turtles movie. And Christian, please do not take me to see the 50 Shades of Grey movie for Valentine's Day next year, it looks terrible. Please.

We were the distraction for one of our other roommates, Joe's girlfriend Casey to set up for the surprise party she had planned, for his birthday this weekend coming and last day of freedom before he goes to work at Google. After the movie finished, Joe went to Safeway to pick up party supplies for the party he thought he was having on Sunday and Casey ended up calling him and telling him she was freaking out over the toilet overflowing and not knowing what to do. Joe literally ran out of the grocery store, us trying to catch up.

We get home and it was a real surprise party, with the walking in and surprise being yelled and Joe wanting to leave again because he didn't know what to do with himself. Overall really great. A lot of people showed up and there was a lot of food and some drinking and it was really nice.

Puppy with a Happy Birthday hat

It also bled into Christian's birthday, which led to him taking his first drink as a 21 year old and subsequent shots.

Smiling Chissen

The next morning, Christian's birthday we had decided to go to California's Great America, which has rides and a water park. We went to Starbucks for breakfast so we could quickly leave. I wanted a more extravagent breakfast, but none were within walking distance and we were running late and Christian insisted that Starbucks was fine and has really good breakfast. We ended up coming back to the house because Christian's phone was dying and Christian invited Joe and Casey along. Joe decided to come with us.

We got there and went on a terrifying roller coaster to begin the day at the water park, the biggest one I've ever been on. Joe decided not to come on that. We went on some pretty standard rides like the water logger ride and ate, and when we got to the water park it started to get overcast, so it got a little chilly. Oh well. It was fun. Then we went on the lazy river and got out and Joe said he was really itchy and was starting to get bumps all over his skin and said his feet were going numb. I guess the chili dog and fries he got was cooked in shrimp oil and he was having an allergic reaction because of his allergy to shellfish. He wasn't feeling well, so he went home, where Casey drugged him up with Benadryl and put him to bed.

We got pictures with Snoopy, despite a sign saying not to crawl on Snoopy.

First picture with Snoopy
Second picture with Snoopy

We went on a few more water rides and decided to go on that ride where it brings you up really high and then drops you and you feel like you're going to die. I've always wanted to go on one. I was super confident, but as we started to get closer to the front of the line I was freaking out a bit and Christian was being Christian about it. We strapped in and started going upwards, and upwards and it was terrifying how far up we were and I was scared and then we dropped and I almost peed myself. But we lived through it and went on another roller coaster.

Christian's phone died so we left the park and found a Hilton hotel and went to the business centre to see if we could order a Lyft (which is better than a taxi for my Canadian friends), but ended up only being able to order through Uber (less good) on a web browser. We made it home though, in time to make some cake. I made a Lemon Blueberry Layer cake for Christian with Cream Cheese frosting, and it turned out amazing. This cake took us more time to eat than the last cake we had, this time about four days.

Birfday cake

And a couple days ago we got bubble tea here, which was supposed to be part of Christian's birthday, but the day was already too packed. This means we've had bubble tea in three countries, and this stuff was really good. And cheap.

Exploring on a Wednesday

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Sign says welcome to Cupertino

We're renting a room in a house on the outskirts of Cupertino, nestled in a place called Sunnyvale and living in a bird neighborhood. Like actually. The streets are named things like Quail St., Peacock Ave., Blue Jay Rd., etc. I love how this is a place where you can actually have an orange or lemon tree, grow a cactus and palm trees and lizards the size of birds. I feel like this is somewhere I could live and be happy with the temperature and the culture. Maybe someday. I need to travel more first. People don't hold doors open or say sorry and do honk at you, and I think that's something I certainly miss about being in Canadia, which our Lyft driver called it the other night. Oh, and donair sauce.

Cactus

We seem to be living in the middle of an Asian part of town, except it's a really large part. A couple nights ago we tried to find a simple Italian restaurant and couldn't find one within a two hour walk. It was Chinese food like Dim Sum, Indian food, Thai food, Vietnamese Pho and sushi. We ended up at a TGI Fridays, which is very sub par, akin to our Smitty's. We did have a peanut butter pie for dessert, which made the meal a thousand times better. Cupertino is certainly not a walking town like Halifax, and I say this as someone who really enjoys going for walks. For fun.

Asian grid

In the midst of this strangely Asian dominated area, I found a Starbucks within walking distance of the house. I ordered an iced vanilla latte, only 190 calories and sat down at an empty table outside. It was 28 degrees outside and there's a warm breeze blowing my hair around and bringing the smell of flowers to me, but a huge umbrella was shading me from the sun. I wish I had brought my laptop because this would be a lovely way to get some work done, it's strangely relaxing, very beautiful. There are conversations going on around me, mixed with the sound of cars and construction of the Apple spaceship campus across the road. I could stay there for hours.

Starbucks store front
Starbucks Iced Coffee

Does this make me a basic bitch? I don't care (no I don't think it does...actually I'm pretty sure it doesn't why did I say that). I might order a grande iced caramel macchiato next. I also found a Subway within walking distance and went a little further to see if I could find the McDonalds I saw on our way home from the gym. Its within walking distance but who walks to a McDonalds? I also stumbled upon a Michaels. Consider my day made. I spent like, two to three hours in there. Definitely going to go back once I can solidify some craft ideas.

California and Other Things, Like Grass

Friday, July 11, 2014

Jess on an adventure to California where she can't brag about it being warm because it's warm in Canada right now

On an adventure

Grass. As Canadians we have grass. We have it because it rains and snows and is generally wet with the exception of like, 3 dry days. California, on the other hand is currently in a drought, it hasn't rained for a while and I'm under the impression that this happens every year. You know where it also happens? Australia. Because Australia is a huge desert. I guess California is a little deserty too. But it's interesting to note that Californians, or Americans, still water their lawn quasi-religiously. There is a lot of green grass here, and if you leave your lawn without watering it for a couple days it burns and dries up and is a brown lawn. Australians have given up on having a lawn, choosing to have mulch or rock or dirt, maybe because their drought regulations are stricter, maybe because Americans are a little superficial and judge things like that and want the finer things like grass. Which I'm pretty sure is a status symbol for some odd reason.

On another hand, I've been in California for a couple days, a weekend really. I like being "the Canadians" to people, I think it's hilarious. We had a really fun Fourth of July, we joined our roommates at a friends house with a lot of other people and got to play with sparklers and eat lots of food and play catchphrase and drink hard cider, which is really good and tastes like real apple juice, haha. People were setting off fireworks in every direction and they weren't supposed to be including in the middle of the street where we were, so that was really cool.

The sparklers kept hitting me in my body and they hurt.

Chissen wis a sparklr
Jess wis sparklr

We went to San Jose shopping on Saturday, Christian got a pair of Ray Bans which he is pretty excited about. The shopping centre was huuuge. And I got a phone plan so I'm mobile everywhere. Phone plans here are so much better. Gah.

Chissen and me wearin sunglasses

And Sunday we went mini-golfing! So much fun, I haven't done it in so many years! I got a couple hole-in-ones and I won the first game we played, yay me! We ended up playing 37 holes, two courses and we redid one because of the lineup on the next hole. It's hot here and it was a hot walk and we got a nutella shake and I'm really nutella'd out.

Turns out we're both pretty not good at golf.

Chissen golf action shot
Chissen linen up

But this week was a little bit sad and slightly lonely after the nice reunion weekend we had. I spent most of the days alone, laying in bed. I went on reddit, had a nap, rolled around, watched Gossip Girl (I know, you don't need to tell me) and didn't really even get dressed. Oh, and I ate a banana. Actually lots of bananas.

We did see a couple movies, Edge of Tomorrow and 22 Jump Street, both were so good. Our list right now is huge.

Tonight we made our own donair sauce, because 'Merica doesn't know what the wonders of it is. Tsk tsk. It actually tasted like real donair sauce from back home and was amazing with pizza (whoops!). Also they don't know what garlic fingers are. Or donairs. But they have so much good stuff, like boston cream yoghurts and Dove chocolates and liquor in grocery stores. So handy. Will report back.

We have a lot of stuff planned for the following weekends, which I'm really excited about. Hopefully hitting all the big touristy things.

A 12 Hour Flight to California. For Vacation. Vacation Only.

Thursday, July 03, 2014

Pilot episode / setting: in an airport like in that movie where that guy is stuck in an airport.

7:06AM
I usually like airports. And I love flying. What I don't like is how the International Flights section in the Halifax airport is set up. Navigating it alone is a feat in itself. Also, apparently United Airlines makes you pay to check a bag when you're landing in the US. I've never had to do that before and I'm kind of mad about it. I also weighed my bag before I left and it was only 45 pounds so I thought I was in the clear. It ended up in a weird section that looked bad and now I'm scared I'm going to have to pay an overweight bag fee. Even though I'm sure it wasn't overweight.

They also don't take your bags at the counter here, apparently. You have to go into security and drop it off. I've never done that before, so I was confused when I was walking in, just walking in the doorway and this Indian guy who works at the airport came over and started yelling at me. I didn't understand what was going on and he's yelling at me telling me to read the thing on the wall and I'll know what to do. It's hard to understand that kind of thing when you're under pressure and you've got a seemingly very grumpy man breathing at your face. He's yelling "Can't you read?! You read English?!" and I said yes, but he grabs my bag and does it, pointing ferociously at the wall where the very vague instructions are that I've never done before.

I almost cried. I don't deal well with situations like that when someone's yelling at me and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I got through security fine, no bag checks because I was smart about it this time and had the preclearance lady raise an eyebrow at me when I said I was going on a two month vacation to California. I promise I'm not going to find a job here, I only want to see my boyfriend. I've only had a couple hours of sleep and I'm here at 5 o'clock in the morning just like you guys. I'm tired too, I get it.

I still have an two and a half hours before I board my first flight to Dulles, Washington. It's not actually a 12 hour flight, but I'll spend 9 hours total flying, and three waiting in airports. More now because we got here super early. Oh well, I'll finish my work term report. Overall, not a terribly good start to my day, but I'm hoping for it to get better. Who knows, they may turn me around in Washington and send me back here. But let's be optimistic.

8:00AM
There's an old couple sitting near me, and she hasn't stopped bitching at him for over half an hour. Since they got here. She hasn't stopped talking, no bitching and he's just trying to read his book. It kind of reminds me of this time I was at the gym and saw a girl and guy working out and the girl talked non-stop throughout her workout. When she was doing the exercises, when she was waiting for him to do his exercises, when they were walking around. Then I looked into the hallway a little later and they were standing there and she was still talking, him not saying anything other than mhm and nodding. I overheard her talking about drama with her friend Tracy. And that's why you don't take a girl to the gym.

7:08PM
I was just on a plane for six hours, so that was fun. And then before that for 2 hours. At some point a dad behind me switched places with his kid and he kicked my chair for a while. Like kicked. Like you see in the movies. Like actual kicking on my seat. My legs hurt and it's actually 3:10PM here, but I'm happy. I'm in California! Finally, after all that waiting. In an hour I'll be boarding my plane to San Jose to finally see Christian and I cannot wait. I'm going to pee myself. I don't know how it's 12 hours later already, I have absolutely no idea where the time went or how to justify it to you, but it is.

4:32AM
I've made it. LA isn't very pretty, but San Jose seems very warm and friendly. I finally got to see Christian again and we stuffed our faces with food from the Apple cafeteria. Very good stuff, some curry and mango smoothie and more smoothie drinks. It's all amazing. I met all my roommates and I think it's going to be a good summer. I'm really excited, my day definitely got better from this morning! I can't wait to be in the warmth and lovelyness and have a relaxing summer. Finally heading to bed, it's been a long day and I get to celebrate America day tomorrow! :)

A Weird Throwback at a Graduation & Some Barbeque

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Friday I watched my baby brother graduate. Not my babyest of brothers, but the middle one. Friday I also finally finished my classes for real. I finished my exams on Tuesday and had an essay due yesterday, which means I slept for most of the day and wondered why I had so little time at the end. I made it though. Without dying or going insane. I think any longer would have actually made me go crazy.

Family Time
Family Time

It was weird seeing someone who I used to make cry on a regular basis graduate. It was also weird seeing people who I haven't talked to in upwards of 2 and a half years. I was friendly though, and as confident as I can be I suppose. Coming back to Tata makes me feel like my confidence almost regresses back to where it was when I was in middle school, which is kind of sad, but I don't know what to do about it.

Well, Jamie's a big boy now, looking older than I do. Going to PEI. I can't get over how weird it is.

Jamie in Graduating Glory

Last night we had a bonfire with some family, which was a lot of fun. We had a barbeque in the garage and roasted some marshmellows and entertained some kidlets just like some people who live out in the sticks do, also we drove around on the lawn mower for fun. How much more sticksy can we get?

I also cuddled with the sookiest dog ever, Jakers. He loves me.

Family Time
Family Time
Family Time

I also caught some fireflies for the first time, we ran out around the front yard chasing after them and brought them back to put in a cup. Brandon picked up some mating ones. They look weird, not at all like I expected. If I saw one in the daylight, I wouldn't even recognize it.

In other news, it's less than a week until I head down to California. Leaving for the airport at 4:30AM and flying for 12 hours is going to be so cool. I can't wait to go through customs to get into the US. My favourite.

I'm Getting by...Almost Kind of Definitely Maybe

Thursday, June 12, 2014

I've been overcome with an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. It took only a week before what my math prof was saying stopped making sense and it won't be longer before I lose it with philosophy as well.

I wrote that at the beginning of the week in the back of my binder, planning on writing a blog post about being overwhelmed. I was feeling hopeless and exhausted and I just didn't think I'd make it through another two weeks. I'm still a little skeptical, but I'm feeling better about the overall outcome of what's going on.

Math is still iffy, but I had a map test in History and got a 100 on it. My Classics prof also asked if anyone was doing three classes, I said yes and in one month and his jaw dropped. He told me I was doing really well despite the stress that must be causing and the impossibility of it. I'm feeling pretty good because the weekend is coming up and I'll have so much time to both catch up on sleep and study.

It's a really weird thing to go from 12 hour sleeps and leisure all day, probably not even leaving the house to 3-5 hours of sleep, 12 hours of class and a lot of homework. Despite everything, this week is almost over and I just have next week before I'm writing finals and being out of class and then back to Tatamagouche for my bro's graduation and then to California. I've gotten a dress for his graduation already. Actually, I got a dress for it two weeks ago.

I'm also feeling a lot more confident and talking to people and making conversation, which is awesome. I've met and had multiple conversations with people from all my classes (personal victory, don't judge). But on the inside a lot of the time, I still feel like little 10 year old me with a bad haircut and a crater face from chicken pox. Super awkward and didn't know how to talk to people.

I'm weirdly happy the point of this post turned around from absolute bottom of believing in myself to feeling confident about what's going to happen in the next two weeks. Even when it gets bad, we can always pull through if we keep trying and that's been demonstrated for me this summer. I couldn't have done it without all the supportive people I have in my life.

Sappy post over.

My Alternate Summer

Saturday, May 31, 2014

So this summer didn't go the way I had planned on. At all. But you know that from my previous post. I've had a pretty fun summer term so far, making the most of it regardless.

I've started lifting heavy weights and putting them back down or sometimes putting them on my back and lowering my body with them and even though I'm hurting, I'm still feeling a world of difference from running around in circles and I've had such a great introduction to weight lifting, where we've worked on form before weights. Joel has been a great help and I couldn't have done it without help from someone who wouldn't judge me for not knowing what different machines were and answering all my "what's that?" or "what does this work?" questions as honestly as he could.

So I guess with that introduction, I can explain. I'm lifting heavier weights than I ever have before (thanks to all my friends for introducing me to it because I never thought I'd ever be in a weight room), eating a new diet and going to three different classes in one month. It's going to be a busy semester, but I'm ready for it.

My classes start on Monday and only run for a month, less than four weeks, so that'll be interesting to see if I have a breakdown trying to do math and be philosophical while remembering war dates and writing essays about it. I'm taking the second Calculus I have to for the second time, a Socrates on Trial class and a 20th Century Germany class. I'm kind of excited. On Tuesday I went and bought my binder and notebook and some new pencils and I'm ready to get going. With my mass amounts of free time, I should be able to cope. I just don't know if I'll be able to wake up at 8AM every morning. I'm going to hate everything.

I've also cut out grains and dairy entirely, choosing to try out a paleo diet. I'm eating so much meat and all the bacon I could ever ask for and I love it. My body feels like this was the diet I was meant for, I feel full without eating much and it's exciting seeing what kind of vegetables I can play with. I've been using cauliflower for rice in my stir fries and I don't miss eating bread at all ... most of the time, anyway. I still can't see pizza without drooling so there's that.

I've booked my ticket to head down to California in July, so that's when Season 2 is going to start for me. Only 33 days away!

A Summer Interrupted

Monday, May 19, 2014

I've never been very good at waiting. Actually, that's an understatement. I'm terrible at waiting. I've been waiting to hear back from the company I was interviewing with, waiting to see when I would join Christian for the summer and waiting to see if I would be able to experience California or even San Francisco.

It's cold in this house and I'm freezing all the time and it's cold in Halifax and I'm getting a little stir crazy with waiting and not having much to do. I've taken up Minecraft, which I've spent a lot of time on because it's a lot of fun.

Going in

I had done a second interview with a company on the 30th of April, Christian's last day of work. I thought it had went well. It was the best interview I had ever had, and I don't mean my-performance-wise, but I was challenged and forced to think and I had a lot of fun with it.

Now I've been waiting for 20 days to hear back from this company, which feels like a really long time. I had emailed 3 people, two recruiters and my first interviewer to see if I could get some sort of response. Nothing.

I posted about the startup I was really excited about in this post I keep referencing (We've Been Renewed!), but they didn't want to/couldn't pay for a visa for me to get into and work in the country, as they weren't expecting to hire a non-US citizen to work for them as an intern. They suggested I go in as a visitor to the country and then it would be okay once I got past the border, but I wasn't comfortable with that since I could face being banned from the country forever. I asked the university, well, Christian asked if they would help with the visa process, but they were unwilling. I lost the job offer when I asked if it was possible to work remotely, writing up work reports and Skyping in.

So I was banking on these interviews to work out into a job offer, I put about a week of studying altogether into studying for the interviews and prepping myself and doing practice interview questions with Christian.

A while earlier, when Christian and I were looking at job opporunities for me in California, he suggested looking at the Apple website and applying for a couple jobs on the chance I might get an interview. And I did. This was that interview. This is what I've been waiting around for. A job doing Web Applications with Ruby on Rails, which would be the most amazing opportunity and I would get to join Christian and experience California.

Until today. Today I got an email. After 20 days.

We are impressed with your experience and credentials, and encourage you to apply to future opportunities for which you qualify.
We appreciate your interest in Apple and wish you success in your job search.

I had figured I didn't get the job, I did just want to hear something, anything. I'm still really sad about everything and it's hard to shake the feeling of disappointment and not being good enough to work at Apple.

But I'm not going to give up. I learned these skills in 4 months completely new and I can do better. I know I can get better and try again. I'm a little sad. But I have a backup plan and I'm going to California in July and cramming a summer into two months.

My Experience with Sleeping

Monday, May 05, 2014

For a long time, it’s seemed like I’ve woken up in the middle of the night. My room, or whatever room I’m sleeping in is exactly the same as when I’m awake, or as it is. There’s always something different about it, something is there. It’s never been the same thing, but it’s always something.

For the same amount of time, I’ve insisted on keeping a lamp next to my bed. It breaks me out of whatever I’m experiencing. I’m not immediately able to, but turning the light on has always been my first reaction.

It happens when I “wake up” that I realize something is different, off about my room. I’ll notice whatever it is – usually right away and I can only stare at it, eyes widening and fear and dread at the pit of my stomach. Suddenly, not suddenly enough though, I snap to and scramble to turn my lamp on.

The first time I remember it happening was after going to sleep after watching Snakes on a Plane. Not a scary movie in itself at all. I just remember looking down on my floor and discovering that it’s covered in snakes. Not an inch of floor was left. I screamed for a while, mostly just noise, sometimes “SNAKES!”, but then managed to dive for my light switch, which was right near my bed (small bedroom problems). They were gone. Nobody heard me screaming…or nobody woke up to it.

It happened frequently after that, but usually it was limited to small stuff, something flying around my ceiling, a huge spider crawling towards me, bugs on my blankets, small bugs springing from my pillow, butterflies or birds sometimes even. I got a person or two walking in my doorway, but those were rare.

When I moved into Halifax into my dorm room they happened pretty often. It was usually people now, small girls, sometimes women. The one I remember the most vividly is I wake up and see a man leaning against my desk. He was a shadow of course, but I remember him clearing his throat and standing up straight. I dove for the lamp and it was gone, but it was really hard to get back to sleep after that. Other than that, normal stuff like mice, bugs, butterflies, birds, huge spiders crawling up my wall or towards me. At least once a week I was woken up in the middle of the night like this. It continued through the summer, nights that I didn’t fall asleep drunk, that is.

I moved into a different residence in the fall of last year and it kept happening. This time I saw my door opening and then closing and someone standing in front of it. I would meekly ask hello and then gain the ability to turn on my light. No one was there. Then back to the usual stuff with the occasional little girl standing at the end of my bed. It only happened once in the winter term though, I managed to sit up and it was two little girls who told me not to tell anyone they were there, I replied that I wouldn’t and dropped myself back down, hiding under the blankets and hoping they weren’t still there.

It still happens sometimes, not often enough that I’m really affected by it, but it really wreaked havoc on me for the first little while I experienced it. It was scary seeing someone standing at the doorway of your bedroom, or bugs disappearing under your blankets (mad scramble for the light and triple checks to make sure there was nothing there).

About a year ago I finally was able to maybe put a name on it: sleep paralysis.

Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which people, either when falling asleep or wakening, temporarily experience an inability to move. More formally, it is a transition state between wakefulness and rest characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness). It can occur at sleep onset or upon awakening, and it is often associated with terrifying visions (e.g. an intruder in the room), to which one is unable to react due to paralysis.

I wasn’t sure if my case was exactly it, but it seems pretty close to that. I’ve only felt threatened a couple times, with the man, other than the general scaredness you get at finding someone in your room unexpectedly and who wants to find a bug in their bed or a huge spider crawling towards them?

During the summer I had the scariest experience I have ever had with my sleep hallucinations. It had been in and out of my dreams for a couple minutes, there was never really any focus on it or anything, but I don’t know if anything else was going on in my dream or if it was just blackness. I woke up to me staring out my window above where my bed sits. My eyes shift down to straight in front of me and there is this white person shaped, transparent thing (shaped almost like the Human Being from Community) looking at me, kneeling in front of my face. Really close. Like, in your face close.

Terror stricken, I freeze up and see it stand up and lean against the wall behind it, crossing its arms. I scramble to sit up, manage a choked “who are you…?” and it’s still standing there. I dive for the light and miraculously it was gone, but in that moment I was still terrified. This was the first time I’ve ever actually cried in the after-moments of this happening, but I couldn’t help myself. I just felt so helpless and alone and scared that I broke down.

I have never felt the other parts of sleep paralysis, the demons or the feeling of being held down or someone sitting on your chest. I’ve also never felt like I was floating or flying either. I’m hesitant to self-diagnose as such because I’m only immobile for a short amount of time and have only experienced one of the types of the hallucinations, but I’m glad I’m able to recognize it more quickly now even if I can't stop it. My case seems to be more along the lines of sleep induced hallucinations or something like that, as it is usually the hallucinations.

Couple this with a weird fear of someone walking in your door while you're sleeping and it makes for a great time.

I’ve also recently realized that people experiencing some sort of thing sitting on their chest and opening their eyes to see a “ghost” is only in fact sleep paralysis. It kind of blows my mind. Think back in times where information about sleep paralysis was non-existent. People must have been terrified of what was going on because they had no idea it was sleep induced.

Apparently there are a lot of people who have to deal with it, and there are those who apparently take the opportunity to turn it into lucid dreaming. I’m just glad that what’s happening to me means I’m not crazy or something like that. The occurrence of it had decreased over the summer a little bit, but that doesn’t mean it will completely stop.

When I'm in a strange place, even with someone I definitely trust, they still happen. Being in Toronto brought them on, unfortunately. I was still seeing people more than butterflies and spiders, such as a little girl who I managed to ask where her mom was. I also saw a group of black people at our door staring at me and then someone coming in through the door. I started digging my nails into Christian's leg and didn't stop until he was practically yelling at me that it hurt.

On our last night in Toronto, I sat up and looked at his head, seeing some bloody insects near his ear and some more I started panicking and yelling, which also seems to be a thing now, I was frantic to wake him up. But he didn't, being so tired, he just pushed my head back down on my pillow and I did seem to forget about it.

It's scary and I wish I knew something, some way to stop it from happening. But I think as long as I'll be sleeping it'll be happening, as it has been for more than five years. It's certainly not something that is unique to me, and that makes me feel a little better.

I Got to See a Red Panda and Eat in a Revolving Restaurant in One Day my Life is Complete

Monday, April 28, 2014

As the end of this month draws nearer, it's getting more than a little weird that this term is coming to an end. Well, mine already has. Like this morning, when I got to sleep in until 12:30 while Christian had to get up early and go to work.

After the Blue Jays game on Friday, we went to Metro and got a raspberry chocolate cake. It was amahzing. We ended up demolishing it in 24 hours, maybe less.

Going in
Going in

Yesterday we made plans to go to the Toronto zoo. Just because. I wanted to see a red panda in real life for a while and we might as well do some touristy things while we're here.

We took the subway and then a bus there, the bus from one end of it's route to the other. In all it took about an hour and a half of driving. I read a review on the way there that talked about 5000 animals in 710 acres and how you couldn't do it in one day. We had an hour and a half from the time we got there to when the park closed, I was scared, but I think we did pretty well. We saw mostly everything I think.

It was really well laid out, with animals divided by continent they came from, and awesome greenhouses for the warmer wanting animals. There were so many children. Also, I hate looking at zoo pictures because they're boring and there's always bars in the way and some people seem to take their pictures with potatoes. I'll keep this short.

The first aimmal we saw was a Giant Panda, which you lined up for like 30 minutes for and it was laying in the back and not being very exciting. Wowza.

So I saw a polar bear for the first time I think. It was...exactly how it looked in pictures except REALLY dirty and looked like it wanted to eat us.

Going in

And this one laying enjoying the sun kind of looked like Naga from Legend of Korra, which if you haven't watched, you should.

Going in

We also saw some Wallabys, which are mini kangaroos and are adorable.

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I realized that I don't think I've ever seen a flamingo before in the wild, so naturally we had to take a selfie with them. I hope this becomes a thing. They're so bright IRL! Like, you see how bright they are in pictures and you're like, "aw, the saturation on that is probably way up" but it's not!

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And of course we saw some kitties. Sleepy kitty, hungry kitty.

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And a hippo. Have you ever seen a hippo? They're blobs. And they're real ugly up close.

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I think this is my second favourite picture theme. We walked behind a waterfall, which was supposed to represent Mayan ruins, but not really, and this was kind of cool. I'm glad the sky was so cooperative.

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Of course this park let the peacocks roam freely, like another park I've been too. It seems to be a theme. Anyway, kids were squealing around it and it looked pretty scared so naturally we had to surround it and take pictures too.

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Christian even chased it with a camera.

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Random gorilla picture.

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squeeeals Okay okay okay okay okay okay okay.

After walking around the park, we didn't see the red pandas. We came full circle and I was sad and the park was pretty much closed and Christian asked a girl and she said they didn't have any in. I was ready to give up, but Christian found some info online and we backtracked and

squeeeeeeeaaaall

We finally found him and HE WAS LOOKING AT US AND HE WAS SO CUTE OMG HE WAS JUST LAYING THERE BEING SO CUTE AND LOOKING AT US!!!!!!!!!

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Okay okay. So we get back and Christian has a little nap and we end up at the CN Tower with reservations we made the previous night.

The elevator up was something for sure. I was standing behind an obscenely tall guy and couldn't see much but my ears popped and it was weird. Christian asked the girl on the way up if your ears ever get used to the up and down and she said no, but the girl on our way down said it only took a week to get used to it. He's currently investigating this discrepancy.

We didn't have to wait very long and the view was incredible. We were there long enough to do a full revolution and then some. I had some rosé wine and pork tenderloin and Christian had Atlantic lobster and shrimp linguine for the entrée. The weird thing was the appetizer, which was a caesar salad, but there were like four croutons placed artfully around the sides, the leaves were 4 inches long. There were whole slices of parmesan on top of that and on the very top one sole piece of pancetta bacon. It was the weirdest caesar salad I've ever eaten, but not the worst by far. Dessert was pretty amazing too. I got a tall dark chocolate thingy.

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And of course we had to get the green screen thing.

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